P.S I love you

 There are four kinds of people in the world. First, who aim for something and get it. Second, who aim for something, don't get it and then change their aim. Third, who aim for something, don't get it and then keep trying till they get it. Earlier I was in this category. Now I am in the fourth category, who cut it out in the beginning itself. They don't start off by aiming so no point in getting it.

My sister is meeting groom candidates for her arranged marriage. It is fun. One guy asked her "do you go around in Delhi?". She said "yes". He said "then Lal Quila must be one of your hangouts. I love monuments. I got cent percent marks in social sciences in class tenth". I mean even if you want to small talk, Lal Quila?? Seriously??

Although marriage is not on my mind for another twenty years (I have a five year plan for that. It will take twenty years to happen because in India no five year plan gets executed on time), still I will meet I will meet potential bride candidates for fun.  To some I will say I am gay so I can't marry. But I believe in innovating. To some others I will say, I have cancer and I will die in a couple of months. My parents want an heir that is why they are marrying me. And the epic excuse would be, I got a girl pregnant so I secretly married her in the temple. Later on, I found out after the paternity test, that I am not the father. I am divorcing her now and the divorce should be most probably done before the marriage.

In the other countries, generally people lease out cars, because they believe in changing the car with the passage of time. In India on the other hand, people buy the car and stick with it forever. Come to think of it, this comparison can also be applied in certain other spheres of life. 

Someone recently asked me to share more stories about Shand. Well, that won't be necessary. Last I checked, Shand is planning to write an autobiography (generally people do that in their old age but Shand has a really happening life so he has a lot to share even when he is just 21). He said that he would write a different autobiography for the college mates. My college  has just a handful of people, and for them he plans to write a different book. But everyone in the college knows Shand (for obvious reasons) and will be more than happy to buy his book. So that book for the college mates will sell more copies than the other version. 

The story I will be sharing is about a doctor and his college time love affair. I won't say more for confidentiality reasons (what if even he threatens me to file a lawsuit against me, I will end up losing billions). So let us begin.

                                                                     Start of story

                                                                      DISCLAIMER

All characters in this story are fictitious. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead is completely coincidental.

'In whose name shall I bill it?' the jeweler asked. 

'Mine, I mean,  Dharam (fictitious name)'. Try as I might, I could not take my eyes off the ring. It had no sparkling diamonds or rubies. To anyone else, it was probably another run-of-the-mill gold ring. But for me, it represented a year of my hostel fees saved-on account of skipped meals and taking photocopied notes rather than buying the original notes. It represented my feelings. Or maybe because I saw 'the lord of the rings' trilogy the night before, so that ring was like 'my precious'. A smile passed my lips as I saw the two letters carved into the gold: 'D. A'.

Ankita Krishnan (fictitious name).What can I tell you about her? It all had started with us being struck in the same medical college. My first impression of her was that she was just another snooty NRI brat who got in via the NRI quota while we had to slog our asses off to get in. She found me arrogant which I was towards her in the beginning. But then generally liking pops up out of hatred. In time, we both understood how wrong we were. We realized how alike we actually were. We both had a wicked sense of humor. Perhaps that, more than anything else, strengthened our friendship.

As years passed by and life threw various hurdles our way, we learnt to watch out for each other. She was my 3 am wake up call to study during exams ( for a 3 am call, a lot of people have to pay 6 rupees per minute. Our assignments were invariably carbon copies of each other's. We were the comfort zones for each other in a place full of books, diseases and blood. We were best friends.

Sometimes, you realize that the person you have been walking beside suddenly looks different- her natural charm is enhanced by the radiance of her personality. Ankita was gorgeous. Her glowing skin, deep brown eyes and cute nose...I was fascinated by her beauty (she was majoring in skin so it might be that she had performed a cosmetic surgery on herself). 

The exams to follow had to be our last and while we'd gone our separate ways for the holidays, we had to return to the college for our one year internship together soon.

We ended by clearing our exams and decided to have an evening out for ourselves on a Saturday after we joined back. Just me and her.

I looked up. She was looking very pretty. She arched her eyebrows, reminding me that I had not yet responded. 

'Yes, Ankita. I'm here.!' The ring in my pocket weighed a ton..as did my heart (although the gold prices had skyrocketed so in the literal sense the ring was feather light). I watched her as she leaned forward, her fork dipping into my chocolate truffle cake, even as her eyes stayed focused on me. 

'Ankita?' I said.

'Hmm'

'I need to tell you something serious'.

She stared at me for a moment. 'Actually, there is something I need to tell you too'.

For the first time I noticed the nervousness in her voice.

'Sure, go on'.

She stopped chewing. 'This month after the exams, being at home, ...it made me realize something. Sometimes it is so difficult to say these things to people who matter the most. Dharam...something has changed for me. The feeling was probably there for a while, but I guess I didn't want to think about it while we were still studying. I just wanted to tell you face-to-face'.

I could see it in her eyes. I knew in that moment that this was meant to be. Destiny had brought us together. 

I held her hand on the table. 

'Dharam, I'm in love with Dhananjay (fictitious name). We are going to get married next year'.

She told me of the conversations she had with our batchmate, Dhananjay during the holidays- the online chats , his proposal, a meeting of the families and the engagement date. 

I looked at her. This was Ankita, I couldn't lie to her. But what could I say to her?

I looked up at her. That smile, never meant to be mine. Unless..

'Come on Dharam! Have trust in me to understand what you have to say.' She said.

I withdrew my hands from hers and reached into my pockets. I took out that little pink box and placed it in front of her. I opened the box, revealing the gold ring with ' D and A' forming a heart.

'I knew about you and Dhananjay, Ankita.. I had this made to give it to you as your present on your engagement, but well I guess this is as good a time as any'.

Her smile widened and I could see her eyes sparkling. 

'Oh Dharam! This is amazing. I love you.'

I finally revealed my heart that day. ' I love you too Ankita'. 

'Idiot rascals...eee-diii-ottt ras-cala.' I said. She giggled at the impression of a Prof we both despised immensely.

'I know. Eee-diii-ott ras-cala'. She giggled. 'Come let's get out of here. Dhananjay's birthday is coming up before the engagement and I need your help in finding him a gift'.

We left the coffee shop; two hearts in love- one heart freed over a cup of coffee, another destined to be hidden forever.

Four years have passed since that day. Seeing the pictures of Dhananjay and Ankita on Facebook as I sit here waiting for my next patient to be shifted into the ICU, I can only smile. 

Life eventually found other ways to separate us- soon after her marriage, she  moved to a different country with her husband and lost herself in her new lifestyle. The promises of being friends forever would remain what they always were- college promises scribbled in the sand.

Over time, we have become just one out of hundreds of friends in each other's Facebook list. We are not strangers but we can never be what we once were.

And yet, her happiness means everything to me. I find it easier to sleep at night because that was what I'd always wanted for her- to be happy. As for the familiar ring tied around the neck of their little girl, Artika (fictitious name) ...well, it's fulfilling its promise even today. A promise of unconditional love. 

                                                                          The End

I don’t think that this was a ‘happy ending’. But I don’t write to give you a feel good factor. I just write to convey the bitter truth because let us accept it that life is a bitc

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Thi

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is the most selfless love story I have ever heard. I would just like to say that some things are best  left to destiny. There is an amazing girl out there, waiting for you to find her. Just stop thinking about the past and go out there for her because life is too short to live in the past.
You can share some incident with me. Mail me at sid1391990@gmail.com

Later
Sidhant
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