Second chance
I don’t get the concept of the protagonist
and the antagonist. Why does the society favor the protagonist? The antagonist
generally does something that is wrong according to the society and then even
justifies himself as to why he did that. The protagonist on the other hand goes
by the textbook definition of right, so no justifications are needed. So most of
the stories are from the antagonist's point of view.
After
reading the stories you might feel that I don’t believe in love. But I feel
that being in love with someone is making them an indispensable part of your
life. They are like a body part without which you are not fully functional. And
when they leave, it is like tearing a limb apart. The pain is excruciating. So I
don’t want to go through that pain. I feel that the only unconditional love is
a mother’s love maybe because you came out of her womb, so you were actually a
part of her. So I do believe in love, but I haven’t found that kind of
Unconditional love yet.
So that is the answer to someone who asked in the survey 'whether I haven't found anyone with whom I wish to spend the rest of my life with yet'. Another thing is that the survey is for the blog feedback not a feedback about me. So I would request you to ask any questions regarding me personally and not on the blog survey.
I am having a feeling that because I talk about the same topic over and over again so my blog is becoming monotonous and stale. The last post was so boring that I slept half way through it (while writing, I never read my posts).
So today I will be narrating an life altering experience from a completely different sphere of life.
START OF STORY
I hit the refresh button again because JEE result
(examination to get into IIT) generally comes out by 8 AM sharp. And it was
8:02. This time the page opened up and it said “congratulations” and when I
read further it said “you are in the waitlist for IIT”. “Waitlist??”, as if
anyone would give up admission in an IIT.
So obviously I didn’t make it to IIT. I had two
options now, either to go to some other college or to take the road less
traveled and drop a year to reappear for JEE. I actually had a lot of other
good options, but I have a habit of running after things which I want till the
time I seize them.
So although everyone was advising against it, but I
dropped a year. And those people were putting forth logical arguments. If I didn’t make through to IIT the next year as
well, all my efforts would be in vain and I would end up wasting a crucial year
of my life. But I am an adamant guy so I
thought “screw the world”. The only people who mattered to me were my parents
and they were supporting me. My parents supported me throughout my life. When I
was a kid, there was a ‘scholar badge’ given out in school to students scoring
above a minimum percentage of marks. I didn’t get it the first time so I was
crying at night so my father came up to me and asked “what happened?”. I said
“All my friends are getting the scholar badge and I am not. I will have no
friends left”. My father said “No matter what happens, I will always remain
your best friend”. He might not remember that, but I do. For the next
consecutive seven years, I got the ‘scholar badge’.
I don’t get the concept of how all the parents can
boast that their kid came first in kindergarten. No one comes second or third
or any rank lower than that. My parents didn’t boast about such things. I
recently saw my report card of kindergarten and I got to know that I got 70% so
actually there was no scope to boast.
So back to my stubborn decision, I had an option of
going to Kota which is the Mecca of IIT JEE preparation, but I preferred to stay
in Delhi near my place because I didn’t want to function like automated
machines and be a part of the herd.
I didn’t stay at home because I thought that I needed some solace to study and I didn’t
want any disturbances. I took a place away from my home.
I stuck two charts on the wall of my room. One chart said “IITIAN” in bold and the other one
had five thousand sticks drawn on it. I was supposed to cross every stick for
every hour I studied. So in totality I had to study five thousand hours.
I started off studying with a lot of enthusiasm, around fifteen hours every day. I
used to study all night long and in the morning I used to go to the terrace and
work out for half an hour. Then I used to sit back on the terrace for fifteen
minutes, relax and used to look at the sun and say to myself “That is my
destination”. Those were probably the best days of my life so far. I used to
introspect myself, try to find out my flaws and rectify them.
I used to go to a teacher to get my doubts cleared.
After a few months he was so impressed with me that he asked me to tutor other
students in my free time. The problems which I was able to solve had levels as
high as college level problems and my teachers encouraged me to solve such
problems so that it boosts my confidence level and I have a feeling that
there is no problem in this world which
I cannot solve.
So in the
initial months things were very free flowing. It seemed that I could achieve
whatever I wanted. IIT seemed in reach, in fact, there were a couple of guys who
used to live in the same building as me, had saved my number in their phones as ‘Sidhant IITIAN’.
I made some great friends. Actually, I met one of my
best friends at that point of time (he left me for a girl in the middle, but
then he realized that ‘bros before hoes’).
In the latter phase I started getting subdued under
pressure. Negative thoughts started racing through my minds. “What if I don’t
get selected? It would mean that I wasted one year of my life as well as my
family’s money”.
I couldn’t concentrate as much as I did in the
initial days. But even that phase passed and I actually learned to work under
pressure. Finally was the time for giving the exam. I struck all five thousand
sticks off that chart and was just memorizing certain formulas in the final
days before the exam.
The exam went well, but according to me it went well
the year before that as well. So I was actually waiting for the result.
It was 8:02 AM again and I hit the refresh button.
It said “Congratulations”. I had seen that
congratulations before. I guess they congratulate everyone for giving
the exam. Later it said “you have made it into an IIT”. There are certain
feelings in life which can’t be expressed by words. I would just like to say
the people who have lost something once, value it the most if they finally get
it. So life actually gave me a second chance, something which rarely happens. I think
that more than getting into IIT I value that experience and maturity I gained under pressure in that one
year. And I guess people who drop a year can handle pressure much better.
Because they have already seen failure in their life once. So if you hit rock
bottom, you can’t go any lower. You can just rise up like a phoenix from the
ashes.
And by the way I forgot to tell you that during that
one year, I came down from 105 kgs to 70 kgs and have a chiseled, toned, six
pack body.
Later
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