Where is the love?

'Where does the love disappear to?' was a question on a blogging site named Quora. My answer to that was 'There is nothing known as love. There have been just an infatuation phase and then a habituation phase. In the infatuation phase you are crazy about the other person and feel he or she means the world to you. With time the infatuation phase fades away and then you enter the habituation phase. In this phase you are habituated to the person and no longer do the crazy things you used to do in the infatuation phase and some might call it disappearing of love but if that other person is detached from you, then like a habit, you long for it. Then either you go back to the same old habit or find a new person and the infatuation phase starts all over again'. I guess many of you won't agree with me on this but this is what I feel.

My college is coming to an end and my batchmates are organizing a party. But I am not attending because I don't have the money to contribute (although I was eagerly waiting for it and had decided on the clothes I would wear from the first year itself). If possible someone please give the money on my behalf and I will pay back later on (read won't ever pay back and may even start dodging your calls).

This story is about a guy in a medical college who made the biggest mistake of his life (fell in love with a girl who didn't care for his love. They learn about the heart in college but still can’t figure out what the other person’s heart feels). This story would be narrated by a girl who was his senior and a great friend of his. She was like his mentor  and used to guide him whenever he needed.

                                                        Start of story

                                                       DISCLAIMER

All characters in this story are fictitious. Any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental.

It was chilly but I got used to the Simla weather in the past four years. I used to love the weather now but I have heard that these things tend to happen when a person is in love. My boyfriend is a great guy. We have a lot of mutual friends.

One day he introduced me to a friend of his who was three years junior to us. As I got to know him, I found out that he was one of the sweetest guys. But he was very low on confidence maybe because he was a little plump and dark complexioned. We decided to go for jogging together but the plans never worked out. We used to hang out at the library and the coffee shop.I used to tutor him the subjects in which he needed help because he was really nice to me. For instance, one day he vacated his warm and cozy chair for me because I couldn't find a seat and he went out in blistering cold to get a band aid for me.

Then that friend of mine, Adi ( was in the first year) met a girl, Ananya. She was a very simple, god fearing girl. He was amazed by her simplicity. They started talking on a regular basis (texts, late night calls, hanging out at the canteen). Adi somewhere down the line fell for Ananya and she actually led him on to it. So Adi asked Ananya out one day but she blatantly refused and some time  saying that she didn’t want to be in a relationship and some time later she started dating his best friend.

So Adi was really low. He lost the girl he loved as well as his best friend. Ananya kept dating that guy throughout the first year and Adi flunked his exams because he couldn’t stop thinking of her. He was in an emotional turmoil, orcatrized by his batchmates. And that is when he became friends with my boyfriend and me. We used to sit in the library and chat every day. But Ananya made it a point to come to the library every day, the same time as us. She used to sit on the table right in front of us. She deliberately used to hold her boyfriend's hand in front of us and that tortured Adi everyday. He used to talk to us about it but we asked him to let it go, and she is not worth it.

A few months later, Ananya started talking to Adi again and told him that she missed him, she liked him and he was the best friend she ever had (She just needed a backup option in case anything went wrong between her and her boyfriend). We  asked Adi to stop talking to her but he didn't pay heed.

One day a couple of months ago, we got a news that some of our juniors met with an accident. The driver was drunk and Adi was one of the juniors. He passed away.

 That is why I said in the beginning that ‘he WAS one of the sweetest guys I knew’. No one should be blamed in such situations. But I lost one of my closest friends and I was rather am deeply hurt and depressed about it. As doctors., I think we've been trained to face death strongly. ‘Don't take anything home’ they say. But that was impossible this time. That is the reason why I wrote in the beginning 'he WAS one of the sweetest guys I knew'.

I tried to be strong. I held his mother all throughout his funeral. And I was sitting with her telling her to be strong in front of the post mortem house when Ananya arrived, sobbing like anything. She could hardly breathe. I didn't know whether I was feeling for her or I wanted to hit her hard. So I let that feeling pass. Love can be so cruel sometimes. That was the girl Adi got affected by so easily. She probably had her own reasons for not dating Adi but what she did to him was uncalled for and really unkind. I couldn't understand why she was crying- did she feel guilty about treating him that way or did she realize that she actually loved him a lot? I didn't ask her and I will never know and how does it even matter now? I hugged her and introduced her to Adi's mom. And I sat with them for a while. They cried and not a single tear fell out of my eye. I could only hear Adi's voice  echoing in my head "mam just take care of my mum she's very upset. Just Tc of Ananya". And I did. I went home that night and cried like I've never cried before. I wish Adi wouldn't  have wasted so many emotions on her. I wish he could have seen how much I loved him, he was my little brother. How much his friends and family loved him. His mum called me a month after his death to inquire whether Ananya was his girlfriend. THAT was an awkward conversation.

But love is cruel more often than it is kind. And that's the truth. We take our loved ones for granted we lie to them and we treat them like shit.

And that's it.

                                                                       The End          

I would like to thank the person who gave me such a valuable incident of her life to write about and I just hope that I did justice to the story.

May Adi's soul rest in peace and I would like to advise you all to just be concerned about the people who actually care for you and not to waste your life on someone who is not worth it.

Later
Sidhant
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