I pity myself




I think that I should write a book enumerating the various reasons against being in a relationship. You aren't left with any time in life. It is like the other person is counting your each and every breath. You don't have time for your body, to work out and play some sport. I don't know even a single person who went into a relationship with a belly and came out with a six pack. I know a lot of them for whom it happened the other way round. You don't have time to fool around with your friends. You have all sorts of tensions and insecurities. And on the monetary front, you are all drained out. Even if you pay only half of the expenses, the places you go to are way overpriced. And all this for what? So that one day you get dumped and left alone? A happy ending to any relationship is a marriage. What percentage of relationships convert into marriages? And even marriages can end. My point here is that nothing is permanent, everything is transient and one should just live in the moment and try to have as little baggage as possible.
Someone told me that the rest of a person's life has been shaped and he shouldn't blame anything on fate. I totally agree with that. He also asked me an interesting question. W
hat's worse, not getting everything you wished for or getting it all and finding out it's not enough? Well, ideally the latter should be worse. But if it was up to me, I would prefer to have everything first. Because even if I feel it isn't enough, I want to feel that I achieved whatever I ventured out for.
Let us come down to the story

                                                                                            Start of story


                                                                                            DISCLAIMER

All the characters in this story are fictitious. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead is completely coincidental.

Common friends can be of good use sometimes. I mean the rest of the time they are a total pain in the ass but those 'sometimes' compensate for  everything. I met her through a common friend. She is really good looking but nowadays a lot of girls are good looking. The thing which attracted me the most towards her was her simplicity, her innocent million dollar smile. When he chuckled, I used to forget all my tensions, sorrows, pains. She was 'my person'. She is an introvert and has a small friend circle. It was a couple of weeks after I asked her out, I realized that she felt sick very frequently. It was then she told me about her medical condition. She was diagnosed with a congenital heart disease. She underwent an open heart surgery. She is absolutely fine after the surgery but she has a pretty weak immune system and is very sensitive. I felt as if I had moved out of the love we both shared and only a feeling of pity for her existed from my side. I broke up with her by the end of our second year of college. Till date, I pity myself for that. I love her and it took me a while to realize what a loser I am. She was ill treated by her ex-boyfriends and I did the same. I left her when she needed me the most.I know she hates me., Infact I hate myself too for being so self centered..But I really miss her a lot. I think about her all the time and can't afford to lose her forever.

                                                                   
                                                                                                  The End

She had a heart disease which was mended but figuratively speaking you broke her heart. And heartbreaks are hard to mend. But time heals it all so don't lose hope because life is pretty long. Just try to convey to her that you really love her and you have realized what a blunder you committed by leaving her when she needed you the most.

You can share some incident with me. Mail me at sid1391990@gmail.com. You can even leave it anonymously in the comments section of the survey.

Later

Sidhant
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