Emotional Intimacy
I guess the rules of the blog compulsion just one post per girl. But, guess who made the rules? Anyway, this one isn't just about the looks or the initial conversations. It is about a feeling much deeper. It is about something which I hadn't felt with any of the muses before. It is about something which got ingrained too deep in me. It is something which I was too afraid to lose. It is about the emotional intimacy.
I stayed in touch with the muse of the previous blog post. Things spiraled up quite quickly. Although she was more than a thousand miles, she became an integral part of my life. I started talking to her day in and day out. The number of texts which used to send each other had enough words to make an unabridged version of the 'Pride and Prejudice' novel. Nothing else mattered, not the lectures, not the career, nothing at all. I had started doing the same acts for which I had mocked lovers all my life. I saw love as an escape for two people who don't know how to be alone, but it felt so divine at the moment. I went back home a few days later. She was in Delhi for work. Just one look at her, and it felt like I had the strongest dose of opium. All of a sudden, all I wanted was to be with her. The place didn't matter; the time didn't matter. Ironically, we were going to a club one night; I had put the name of the hotel in the Uber GPS. On the way, her friend said that maybe we are going the wrong way. But more than twenty years in Delhi and an MBA program instills a supreme sense of overconfidence. Although I didn't even remember the locality, I portrayed as if I know every nook and corner of the city. At 1 in the night, we ended up reaching a shady hotel somewhere in North Delhi, with the automated voice of the Uber saying "You have reached your destination."
I was flying back to Ahmedabad the next day. I persuaded her to come with me. I told her that I didn't know where we were headed, but it just felt that we should spend more time together. My line of reasoning was quite sound. I said
"Twenty years down the line, when you are sitting in the car with your grumpy husband and will recall me, you might feel that you should have given me a shot, or the complete opposite, after spending more time with me, you would be happy that you didn't end up with me, so win-win in both the situations."
She replied "This is why I am an outlier. People think and make decisions, I 'feel' and make decisions."
I sarcastically remarked, "And look where it has got me."
Anyway, she came to Ahmedabad, and it was the best time of my life on campus. I had never felt more jubilant before, be it after the exams, or after the placements, or anything for that matter. I didn't feel like going anywhere, or meeting anyone, or doing anything. We were watching a movie in which a guy wins a lottery. I had asked what she would do if she won that much money. She said that she would travel the world. She asked what I would do; I said that I would take a seat adjacent to hers on the world tour. All I wanted was to be with her. I didn't even notice how time flew by, and she had an early morning flight in a few hours. Incidentally, it also my birthday, and being with her was the best present ever. I wanted her to stay back forever. But then I also knew that I was doomed to lose her, as it was too good to be true.
Once she was gone, the distance crept in, and she ended up not staying in touch with me, and I went back to my closest friend in college, the 'counselor.' The sad part is that she is the closest to a novel I ever got, but we needed to spend more time together. I guess, it just wasn't meant.
Later
Sidhant
I stayed in touch with the muse of the previous blog post. Things spiraled up quite quickly. Although she was more than a thousand miles, she became an integral part of my life. I started talking to her day in and day out. The number of texts which used to send each other had enough words to make an unabridged version of the 'Pride and Prejudice' novel. Nothing else mattered, not the lectures, not the career, nothing at all. I had started doing the same acts for which I had mocked lovers all my life. I saw love as an escape for two people who don't know how to be alone, but it felt so divine at the moment. I went back home a few days later. She was in Delhi for work. Just one look at her, and it felt like I had the strongest dose of opium. All of a sudden, all I wanted was to be with her. The place didn't matter; the time didn't matter. Ironically, we were going to a club one night; I had put the name of the hotel in the Uber GPS. On the way, her friend said that maybe we are going the wrong way. But more than twenty years in Delhi and an MBA program instills a supreme sense of overconfidence. Although I didn't even remember the locality, I portrayed as if I know every nook and corner of the city. At 1 in the night, we ended up reaching a shady hotel somewhere in North Delhi, with the automated voice of the Uber saying "You have reached your destination."
I was flying back to Ahmedabad the next day. I persuaded her to come with me. I told her that I didn't know where we were headed, but it just felt that we should spend more time together. My line of reasoning was quite sound. I said
"Twenty years down the line, when you are sitting in the car with your grumpy husband and will recall me, you might feel that you should have given me a shot, or the complete opposite, after spending more time with me, you would be happy that you didn't end up with me, so win-win in both the situations."
I sarcastically remarked, "And look where it has got me."
Anyway, she came to Ahmedabad, and it was the best time of my life on campus. I had never felt more jubilant before, be it after the exams, or after the placements, or anything for that matter. I didn't feel like going anywhere, or meeting anyone, or doing anything. We were watching a movie in which a guy wins a lottery. I had asked what she would do if she won that much money. She said that she would travel the world. She asked what I would do; I said that I would take a seat adjacent to hers on the world tour. All I wanted was to be with her. I didn't even notice how time flew by, and she had an early morning flight in a few hours. Incidentally, it also my birthday, and being with her was the best present ever. I wanted her to stay back forever. But then I also knew that I was doomed to lose her, as it was too good to be true.
Once she was gone, the distance crept in, and she ended up not staying in touch with me, and I went back to my closest friend in college, the 'counselor.' The sad part is that she is the closest to a novel I ever got, but we needed to spend more time together. I guess, it just wasn't meant.
Later
Sidhant
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