Dopamine Enthusiast

So our desires, motivators, actions are driven by four chemicals; dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphin. Out of all four chemicals, dopamine is the one with high positive correlation to addiction. Gambling, drinking, promiscuity, gaming give a dopamine rush. But the latest game changer, social media is one of the biggest fuelers for dopamine. Till about a decade back  Someone comments on your post or likes your photo or even watches your story; you get a dopamine hit. As our body was naturally attuned to dopamine and addiction to dopamine is more than even some of the strongest drugs so social media (read Mark Zuckerberg) is making addicts from the age of as low as 14 to as high as 70.

This is out of the context of a usual blog post but is a pretext for the existence of this blog. The reason why I fall for a new girl every time, haven't ever been in a relationship is because these random encounters and the spontaneity of events are giving me the dopamine rush which is too hard to give up. But addiction has strong negativity attached to it; I am more of a 'Dopamine enthusiast'.

Anyway, coming to the muse of the blog post. It was a Friday night and I was at one of my usual hangout bars. I went there at around 11 and bar was jampacked. That's when I saw her; she was standing on the corner of the bar counter. It wasn't just about the looks but her contagious smile was emanating magnetic positive vibes. I knew I had to talk to her. From past experience, I knew about giving compliments on the intricate details. My opening line was "The maroon shirt looks really good on you". Now as I had stated in the previous blog post titled 'Pole Dancer', a one-word answer means you need to back off. To my surprise, she gave the most amusing answer. Immediately in a cheerful tone, she replied "Thanks a lot! I just bought it." I just gave validation to her impeccable taste in clothes. Even without knowing her, I immediately felt a vibe which I hadn't in a long while. Trying to strike a conversation was hard as the music was loud, She asked me whether I liked Justin Beiber. Just to give a context, I was so lost in her words that I forgot the track had changed to some Justin Beiber song and thus the question. I actually didn't know how to answer that since I was so lost in her company, it took five seconds to recall who Justin Beiber was? Turns out she isn't a big fan, and anyway the music was loud so we walked outside to talk.

We went downstairs to take a stroll by the road. Now as she was asking me about me, I knew one thing. I knew that my blog is probably more interesting than me. I told her that I am an open book and took her phone just to open my blog in the browser. After a few minutes, I asked her to tell me more about herself. She smiled and said "Well, the enigma is attractive. Let's save something for the second meeting." She was waiting for a friend, we exchanged numbers and parted ways.

Following the six-hour rule, I texted her next morning. After a few texts, we had mutual consensus on the banes of texting. She had a meeting near my place in the evening and we decided to meet up post that. I was in the gym which is walking distance from my place so I had told her to text me when five minutes away. She texted me at 7:30 PM that she was five minutes away. Her phone battery died, and I was standing outside Tendulkar's house till 8:20 as five minutes is never five minutes in India (High context culture). Well, the good thing was that after being neighbors for over four months, I finally caught a glimpse of Sachin going in his BMW. Anyway, she finally did arrive and she was totally worth the wait.

We were chilling at my place and as she was talking, I started playing with hair. Her face turned completely red, more noticeable because of her fair complexion. What happened next would stay in the room as I don't want my kids to paint a bad image of their dad. She had to leave after some time and it was like I just didn't want her to leave. I insisted her to stay back in ways more than mere words. This went on for more than an hour. Finally, I went down to drop her till the cab because it just meant more time with her.

So, is this it? Did the fates finally work in my favor? Am I finally getting some oxytocin (the chemical associated with love) in my life? Well, I texted her next morning but never heard back from her. Also, here's the thing. My 'enthusiasm' for dopamine has deleted my need for other chemicals, case in point being oxytocin (also known as the 'cuddle' hormone). These encounters continue to fuel my need for dopamine, and the blog goes on.

Later
Sidhant